Supporting Bereaved Staff is not only a compassionate thing for employers to do; it is an essential part of building a mentally healthy workplace. In a session from the Mental Health and Wellbeing in the Workplace Conference, Rebecca Patterson, Director of Good Life, Good Death, Good Grief at the Scottish Partnership for Palliative Care, explored what bereavement-friendly workplaces look like and how organisations can take practical steps to support employees after a death.
The session, now available to watch through the Mental Health and Wellbeing in the Workplace Conference, focuses on the everyday actions that can make work feel safer, more humane and more manageable for someone who is grieving.
Why Bereavement Support at Work Matters
Bereavement will affect almost everyone at some point during their working life. Yet workplaces can vary widely in how they respond. Rebecca’s session opened with two personal case studies that showed how much difference workplace responses can make.
In one example, an employee was offered leave and sympathy after their father died, but the support quickly became complicated. They were asked intrusive questions about the death, contacted repeatedly for work information during leave, and returned to unrealistic expectations and a backlog that had not been managed. Even well-intentioned messages from colleagues felt overwhelming because the employee had already said they did not want attention or fuss.
In contrast, another employee described feeling “kept afloat” by a manager who offered flexibility, regular one-to-ones, access to counselling, and a temporary four-day week. Later, being trusted with a meaningful project helped them move forward. The difference was not simply policy; it was thoughtful, personalised support.
How Grief Can Affect Employees
A key message from Rebecca’s session was that there is no single “right” way to grieve. There is no fixed timeline, and people may respond differently to different bereavements.
Emotional and mental effects
Grief can involve shock, numbness, sadness, anxiety, anger, guilt, relief, emotional pain, or mixed feelings, particularly if the relationship with the person who died was complicated. Some people may want to talk; others may want privacy. Some may appear to be coping and then struggle later.
Physical effects
Rebecca also highlighted that bereavement can have physical effects. Employees may feel exhausted, struggle to sleep, lose their appetite, comfort eat, experience panic attacks, feel shaky, or find it difficult to concentrate. This matters in a workplace context because bereavement is sometimes treated as separate from sickness or wellbeing. In reality, grief can affect the body as well as the mind.
Work environments where allyship is championed will naturally create atmospheres where people feel more comfortable to return to work after bereavements. True allyship goes beyond EDI compliance, it creates teams built on understanding, mutual respect and care for one-another. This results in teams that are prepared to handle internal staff issues, like mental health, family bereavements, etc. We are hosting The Allyship in the Workplace Conference 2026 this September, an opportunity to examine the latest policies and strategies to drive meaningful action and achieve long-lasting allyship to confront systemic inequalities.
Supporting Bereaved Staff Through Practical Workplace Action
A bereavement-friendly workplace is not only about offering a set number of days off. Bereavement leave can be important, but Rebecca emphasised that support also comes from flexibility, information, understanding and culture. This quote from Rebecca’s keynote summarises how a flexible and supportive management allowed this person to ease back into work in a way that worked for them.
“The actions that helped keep me afloat included a take-as-long-as-you-need attitude. There was no issue with me being off for at least two weeks. On my return, my manager had weekly one-to-ones with me, which always involved a discussion around how I was doing personally. I was granted counselling sessions through a work scheme. And for a set period of time, I worked a four-day week. The other thing that helped greatly was that within a few months, I was given a big project to lead on. Reflecting on this now, I can see that this really helped me to keep moving forward.” – from Rebecca’s keynote
1. Build staff awareness and confidence
Colleagues often want to help but worry about saying the wrong thing. Organisations can support staff by increasing awareness of bereavement and giving people confidence to respond with empathy. This might include signposting short training videos, sharing guidance, or creating simple internal resources on how to support a bereaved colleague.
The goal is not to turn colleagues into counsellors. It is to help people feel able to offer ordinary human support: checking in, listening, respecting privacy and avoiding assumptions.
2. Train and support managers
Managers play a crucial role when an employee is bereaved. They may need to discuss leave, workload, confidentiality, communication with the wider team, phased returns and ongoing adjustments. A manager may be compassionate as a person but still unsure what they are allowed or expected to do in their role.
Rebecca suggested that managers need time, space and access to guidance so they can respond appropriately. This includes knowing what policies allow, what flexibility is available, and how to avoid unintentionally adding pressure.
3. Review organisational policies and protocols
Bereavement policies often focus on how many days of leave someone can take and which relationships qualify. While this is important, Rebecca encouraged organisations to think more broadly.
Useful questions include:
- Who should be informed when an employee is bereaved?
- How will the employee’s privacy and wishes be respected?
- Who will manage urgent work while the employee is away?
- What expectations will be set with clients, colleagues or stakeholders?
- Can managers offer flexibility around hours, location or workload?
- What happens when the employee returns to work?
The first case study showed how damaging it can be when communication is not handled carefully. Sharing news too widely, asking intrusive questions, or expecting an immediate return to normal can increase distress.
4. Make information easy to find
When someone is grieving, their ability to process information may be reduced. They may struggle to search for policies, understand entitlements, or find external support. Workplaces can help by making practical information easy to access before it is needed.
This could include a clear bereavement policy, details of employee assistance or counselling schemes, links to bereavement support organisations, and guidance on financial, legal or practical matters after a death.
5. Create an open and supportive culture
Perhaps the most important point in the session was that bereavement-friendly workplaces are shaped by culture. Policies matter, but people’s day-to-day behaviour matters too.
Rebecca described workplaces as groups of people brought together by circumstance. The question is: what do those people want to do for each other, and how can the workplace make that possible?
One practical suggestion was to create a small working group to develop a workplace bereavement charter. This can set out how the organisation wants to support staff, based on input from the people who work there. The process itself can be powerful because it opens up conversations, raises awareness and helps colleagues understand different needs and preferences.
What a Bereavement-Friendly Workplace Looks Like
A bereavement-friendly workplace is one where employees are not expected to simply “get back to normal” after a few days. It is a workplace where managers ask what the person needs, colleagues respect boundaries, workloads are handled realistically, and support continues beyond the immediate aftermath of a death.
It may include formal support such as leave, counselling or phased returns. But it also includes smaller actions: a private room for a return-to-work conversation, a check-in that does not feel intrusive, or a colleague offering practical help with workload.
Conclusion: Supporting Bereaved Staff Starts Before Bereavement Happens
Supporting Bereaved Staff effectively requires preparation, compassion and flexibility. Rebecca Patterson’s session makes clear that workplaces have the power to make a devastating time either a little easier or much harder. The best time to review policies, train managers and build a supportive culture is before someone needs that support.
In her session, Rebecca highlighted the Bereavement Charter Mark for Workplaces as a framework people can use to help introduce changes in bereavement strategy. This, alongside the Bereavement Friendly Workplaces Toolkit, are helpful resources to ensure that you have a starting foundation in implementing and improving bereavement in the workplace strategy.
For HR teams, managers and organisational leaders, the next step is practical: review your bereavement policy, consider how communication is handled, make support information visible, and involve staff in shaping a workplace bereavement charter. To explore the full discussion, you can watch the Mental Health and Wellbeing in the Workplace Conference.
Don’t forget to look into The Allyship in the Workplace Conference. This event will go beyond surface level understandings of allyship, focusing on implementation and best practices that are necessary to successfully integrate inclusive policies.